I have to decided to once again run for public office. I didn't become the Sewage Czar last year, so now I'm running for Secretary of Fertilizer! I'll be running against the 58 time incumbent, Butt Saunders! Butt first became Secretary of Fertilizer when he was 18 years old. During his run as Secretary of Fertilizer, he's done some great things, like making a rule that all fertilizer had to be registered with the Padagonia Fertilizer Funhouse, and it would cost $98,492 to register your fertilizer. He also started the Padagonia Fertilizer Mounted Patrol, and they would bust people using unregistered fertilizer. See, these two moves were very wise. Because no one could afford to register their fertilizer, that was less work Butt would have to do. And the Fertilizer Mounted Patrol punished vagrant fertilizer users. Now, with that said, I think these things could improve. I think that $98,492 is way too much to register your fertilizer. I propose lowering the price drastically - to $98,491.99. Also, right now the FMP ride llamas. I propose we switch from llamas to goats. Those changes will change the entire Padagonia fertilizer inferstructure.
I'll be posting more of my campaign goals and news from the campaign front, so stay tuned! And register your fertilizer, or the FMP will come riding on goats to get you!